宅男必读：恋爱心经“四步走”

信息化时代的来临，足不出户就可以工作、购物、交友、娱乐，一台电脑，一根网线，就能了解世间万象，于是乎，“宅男”倍出。所谓“宅男”，也称为“御宅族”，原本是指那些足不出户，不修边幅，不工作、不社交，对动漫、电玩等狂热，沉迷于上网、电脑游戏的年轻人，成日只活在自己的世界里，缺乏社交能力。

而随着时代的发展，更多的it白领加入“御宅”一族，颠覆了旧日的概念，他们的工作大多是对着电脑完成的，不存在人格交流障碍，思想独立，个性鲜明，自给自足，不喜欢流连声色场所，或全职或soho，只是工作性质决定了他们沉默寡言，生活简单，“宅”是适合他们的生活方式，只不过这种方式或多或少的影响着他们的恋爱进程。

如何才能在“宅”的同时，又能兼顾爱情，或许是让大多数it“宅男”都感到困扰的事，工作忙碌，终于有了空闲时间却也只想“宅”在家里，眼看着年龄越来越大，见别人都花前月下，你侬我侬，而自己却只能对月空叹，形只影单，想找一个女孩陪自己谈谈风月，却又无奈于自己平时社交贫乏，苦于没机会结识女孩。

有的it“宅男”，自大学毕业后就一门心思地扑在工作上，别人恋爱他工作，别人失恋他还在工作，辛苦几年下来，事业有所成就，总算没辜负这几年的青春年华。终于不必再那么辛苦的时候，看着身边朋友一个个牵着女友的手招摇于他面前时，他才发觉，自己已近而立之年，先是立了业，接下来该成家了，可是说到成家，找女朋友的问题上他又犯了难，去哪找，怎么找，找谁呢？

于是，在众多it“宅男”感叹“春天”在哪里的时候，专家为众多恋爱无门的it“宅男”们打造一条恋爱通道，寻找他们迟来的春天。

观点：

“宅”是一种生活方式，近乎一成不变的工作方式、作息规律，也许姿态够低调、循规蹈矩，但不能被这种生活方式改变成一个呆板、乏味、懦弱的人，若是封闭在自我的世界中，久而久之形成社交缺失症候群的症状，不仅找不到“春天”，反而让自己沉寂在冬天的最深处，冷暖无人知，悲欢无处诉。因此，it“宅男”首先要打开的不是家门，而是自己的心门，只有打开了心门，自己才能走出去，别人才能走进来。

第一步：自信

很多it“宅男”因为长时间“宅”着而变得性格内向，甚至木讷，这样一来，在给人的第一印象上就被打了负分，所以提升自信是关键的一点。一个自信的男人，在与女孩交往的时候，就会不做作，表现自然得体，给人留下好印象。在自信的同时，就能更好的展示自己的优势与强项，让女孩在不知不觉中被吸引。

如何提升自信：

1、最需要是先认同自己，只有自我认同后，才会得到他人认同。

2、虚心接纳别人的意见与建议，修正自身的不足之处。

3、善待自己的错误，避免一错再错，而每个错误都是一次学习的经历。

4、注意情绪的调节，保持乐观的态度。

5、不必为了取悦他人而刻意的去改变自己，自己的能力越强，才能为他人所信服。

6、别太在意生活中某些事的输与赢，自我价值的体现并不局限于单一方面。

7、做一个有担当的人，积极面对生活中的责任与压力，由此才能把生活的控制权掌握在自己手中。

8、为自己设定的工作、生活标准要切合实际，不必过份苛求完美，也不能毫无标准，量力而为，找到适合自己的方式即可。

第二步：自我修饰

对于it“宅男”来说，大部分时间都是对着电脑工作、娱乐，往往对于外表的要求很低，忽略自身的修饰，容易给人造成不修边幅的印象。虽说衣着舒适是很重要的，但人人都有审美意识，如果对自己的外表完全不加修饰，给女孩的第一印象就会大打折扣。

加强对外表的修饰，未必要多新潮，多时尚，而是适当的变换一下风格，衣着干净、整洁、得体，即使你不是帅哥，如此修饰之后，也会给女孩留下一个良好的印象。

外在的修饰是一方面，更重要的是内在的修饰。一个人的气质修养，是再华丽的衣饰也没办法装裱的，气质修养一方面是天生的，另一方面也是后天培养的。要想自己的气质修养出众，除了穿着得体，说话有分寸之外，要懂得发挥自己的优点，克服自己的缺点，不断提高自己的知识、品德修养、不断丰富自己，增加自身的人格魅力。

第三步：主动出击

it“宅男”如果在恋爱方面不够主动，一味“宅”在家里，是没有女孩会主动敲门，跟你说：“嗨，我想认识你”，这样的情节只会发生在电影或者电视中，而现实里发生这种情况的几率不亚于彩票中大奖。

如今信息发达，娱乐生活丰富，结识女孩的方式与机会也越来越多。如果你就是不喜欢出门，一味“宅”到底的it“宅男”，也可以利用自身的优势—“键谈”，网络咨询发达，各种交友网站、多种聊天工具，总有一种适合你。对于目的性明确的，想以快捷方式找到女朋友的“宅男”来说，也许交友网站更适合一些。如今的交友网站管理规范，同时信息量大，根据自身的条件寻找适合自己的女孩，只需要填写自己的信息、要求，网站自然罗列出符合条件的对象，不必再用聊天工具频繁结识女孩，广撒网，却始终找不到适合自己的。

如果你不是一个完全不出家门的it“宅男”，你可以在旅行中、集体活动中、甚至电影院、咖啡馆、酒吧等等地方遇到各种类型的女孩，碰到自己钟意的，别害羞，主动上前打个招呼，一句简单的问候，也许就是一段感情的开始。

第四步：找到心仪的她

寻找到自己喜欢的女孩之后，如果你们情投意合，自然就进入了恋爱阶段。

爱情也如花朵，需要阳光、水份、营养，如果只把它放在玻璃罩中，不去多加呵护，不去细心照料，恐怕你的爱情之花很快就会枯萎，你的春天也只能昙花一现。

寄语：

既然恋爱了，就走出“宅”门吧，让爱情之花多呼吸一下新鲜空气，快乐地去约会，与女友创造一个新的朋友圈子，走出原来那个封闭、乏味的“宅”圈，多尝试新鲜事物，多交流彼此的想法，培养共同的兴趣爱好。恋爱如课堂，两个人不断地磨合、相互理解、相互包容，才能更好的学习，才能第二次成长。

摒弃过去一个人的世界，it“宅男”打开心门，让自己走出来，与心仪的她牵手走到那个两个人的世界，于是，春天来了，花也开了！

With the advent of the information age, you can work, shop, make friends, and entertain without leaving home. With a computer and a network cable, you can understand the world of Vientiane. The so-called “otaku”, also known as “otaku”, originally refers to those young people who do not leave home, do not trim, do not work, do not socialize, are enthusiastic about animation, video games, etc., and are addicted to the Internet and computer games. Only live in his own world, lack of social skills.

With the development of the times, more IT white-collar workers have joined the “Otaku” family, subverting the old concept. Most of their work is done on the computer, there is no barrier to personality communication, independent thinking, distinct personality, self-sufficiency Self-sufficiency, do not like lingering places, or full-time or soho, but the nature of work determines their reticence, simple life, “house” is suitable for their lifestyle, but this way affects their love process more or less .

How to be able to take care of love at the same time as the “house”, maybe it is the thing that troubles most of it “houseboys”, busy with work, and finally having free time but only want to “house” at home, watching the age It is getting bigger and bigger, seeing everyone spends the next month, you and I, but you can only sigh to the moon, and you only want to find a girl to accompany yourself to talk about Fengyue, but you are helpless because you are usually socially poor. , Suffering from no chance to meet girls.

Some of them are “otakus”. After graduating from college, they have dedicated themselves to work. Others are in love with him and work. Others are falling in love. He is still working. After a few years of hard work, his career has been accomplished and he has lived up to his youth in these years. . Finally, when he didn’t have to work so hard anymore, when he saw his friends holding his girlfriend’s hands and waved in front of him, he realized that he was close to the age of establishment, first he had a career, and then he should start a family, but he said He had a hard time finding a girlfriend after starting a family. Where to find, how to find, who to find?

So, when many IT “otakus” lamented where “spring” is, experts created a love channel for many loveless “otaku” lovers to find their belated spring.

View:

“House” is a way of life, with almost unchanging working methods and regularity of work and rest. Perhaps the posture is low-key and compliant, but it cannot be changed by this way of life into a dull, boring, cowardly person, if enclosed in the world of self The symptoms of social loss syndrome formed over time, not only can not find “spring”, but let yourself be silent in the deepest part of winter, no one knows the cold and warm, no joy to complain. Therefore, it is not the door of the house that it “Otaku” must open first, but its own heart door. Only when the heart door is opened can one go out and others can walk in.

First step: self-confidence

Many “otakus” become introverted because they have been “homes” for a long time, and even they are indifferent. In this way, they are scored negatively in the first impression, so improving self-confidence is the key point. A confident man, when interacting with a girl, will be unpretentious, behave naturally and decently, and leave a good impression. At the same time as being confident, you can better show your strengths and strengths and make the girl unconsciously attracted.

How to improve self-confidence:

1. The most important thing is to identify with yourself first. Only after self-identification will you be recognized by others.

2. Openly accept other people’s opinions and suggestions, and correct their own shortcomings.

3. Be kind to your mistakes and avoid mistakes again and again, and every mistake is a learning experience.

4. Pay attention to the regulation of emotions and maintain an optimistic attitude.

5. There is no need to deliberately change yourself in order to please others. The stronger your ability, the more you can be convinced by others.

6. Don’t be too concerned about the winning and losing of certain things in life. The manifestation of self-worth is not limited to a single aspect.

7. Be a responsible person and actively face the responsibilities and pressures in life, so that you can take control of life in your own hands.

8. The working and living standards set for oneself should be realistic. There is no need to overly demand perfection, nor can one do everything without standards and find the way that suits oneself.

The second step: self-grooming

For it “otaku”, most of the time is working and entertainment on the computer, and often has very low requirements for appearance. Ignoring its own decoration is easy to give the impression of not trimming. Although it is important to dress comfortably, everyone has an aesthetic consciousness. If they do not modify their appearance at all, the girl’s first impression will be greatly reduced.

Strengthen the appearance of the appearance, it is not necessary to be more trendy and fashionable, but to change the style appropriately, dress clean, neat and decent, even if you are not a handsome guy, after such modification, it will leave a good impression on the girl.

External modification is one aspect, and more importantly, internal modification. A person’s temperament can’t be framed even with gorgeous clothing. The temperament is born on the one hand, but also acquired on the other. If you want to be outstanding in temperament, in addition to being well-dressed and speaking well, you must know how to use your strengths, overcome your shortcomings, and constantly improve your knowledge, morality, and self-enrichment, and increase your own personality charm.

The third step: take the initiative to attack

if “otaku” is not active enough in love, no one will take the initiative to knock on the door if you are “home” at home, and tell you: “Hey, I want to know you”, this kind of plot will only happen in movies or TV. , And the probability of this happening in reality is no less than the jackpot in the lottery.

Nowadays information is developed, entertainment life is rich, and there are more and more ways and opportunities to meet girls. If you just don’t like to go out, it’s “otaku”, you can also use your own advantages—“key talk”, well-developed online consultation, various dating sites, and various chat tools, there is always a suitable for you. For the “Otaku” who has a clear purpose and wants to find a girlfriend in a quick way, maybe the dating site is more suitable. Today’s dating site management is standardized and at the same time, it has a large amount of information. To find a girl who is suitable for you according to your own conditions, you only need to fill in your own information and requirements. The website naturally lists the eligible objects, and you don’t have to use chat tools to meet girls frequently. Widely spread the net, but always can not find the right one for himself.

If you are not an “otaku” who is completely out of the house, you can meet various types of girls in travel, group activities, even cinemas, cafes, bars, etc. Shy, take the initiative to say hello, a simple greeting may be the beginning of a relationship.

The fourth step: find her favorite

After finding the girl you like, if you are in love, you will naturally enter the love stage.

Love is like a flower, and it needs sunlight, moisture, and nutrition. If you just put it in a glass cover, don’t take care or take care of it. I am afraid that your love flower will soon wither, and your spring will only Can be short-lived.

Message:

Now that you are in love, go out of the “house” door, let the flower of love breathe more fresh air, happily go on a date, create a new circle of friends with your girlfriend, walk out of the closed and boring “house” circle, try more Fresh things, exchange ideas with each other, and cultivate common interests. Love is like a classroom. When two people are constantly blending in, understanding each other and accommodating each other, they can learn better and grow up for the second time.

Abandon the world of one person in the past, it “Otaku” opened the door of the heart, let herself come out, and walked hand in hand with her favorite to the world of the two people, so spring came and the flowers bloomed!

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