揭秘男人为何偏爱“三低老婆”

我认识一个私企业主，家底丰厚，人嘛也算英俊潇洒知书识礼，身边不少女硕士、女经理、女老板(人称“三高女性”，即学历高、层次高、收入高)都在暗中打他的主意，可他偏偏娶了一个一个只有中专学历的小财会，被人戏称为“三低老婆”(学历低、文化低、收入低)。有回跟他吃饭，我问他为何舍高求低，他哈哈一笑，不慌不忙地给我总结出了娶“三低老婆”的三大好处：

一、“三低老婆”在精神上崇拜丈夫仰慕丈夫，男人可以在家当顶梁柱，不用受窝囊气。而娶个女强人那就倒霉了，人家天天在单位发号施令，回到家肯定也颐指气使，那男人可就永无出头之日了。

二、“三低老婆”在事业上无欲无求，一下班就回家，是块贤妻良母的料，可女强人就不同了，经常在外面应酬，家谁管啊，男人只好又当爹又当娘，在家做起了“模范丈夫”，到时候身边朋友就会忍不住耻笑，瞧，混的还不如老婆，真没出息!

三、“三低老婆”在经济上对丈夫有依赖感，有助于家庭的和谐稳定;女强人挣得比丈夫还多，独立性自主性太强，自然也就心比天高，说不定哪天山河变色，丈夫就被扫地出门啦!

男人对“三低老婆”的偏爱，在自尊自强的女性看来，无异于一种彻头彻尾的大男子主义思想。但若从自古男强女弱的婚恋模式来看，似乎也司空见惯。一个男人对一个女人的爱，必须建立于前者在后者面前足够强大、足够优势的基础上，这种强大和优势，既体现在年龄、身高、体能上，更体现在权势、金钱和心理上，如果男人在心爱的女人面前处处自卑，时时汗颜，他雄性的征服欲就无从释放，就会产生一种严重的不安全感，甚至在生理和心理上出现双重“阳痿”，从此一蹶不振。所以男性的择偶自古都是一种“俯视心理”：年龄得比我小，个子得比我矮，学历得比我低，收入得比我少……

美国密西根大学和洛杉矶加州大学两个教授曾经就对超过300名大学生进行择偶方面的研究，其中120名为男性，研究人员观察优越感是否会影响择偶的意愿。这里的优越感和人格无关，主要指的是身份地位和权力收入。结果发现大多数男性择偶时倾向于他们工作上的助理，而对他们的同事和上司，则不太感兴趣。女性并不会特别考虑优越感。因此，在国外很多企业中，男上司娶女下属，或者一个年轻貌美的女秘书嫁给了事业有成的男老板可谓司空见惯。相反，男下属娶女上司则是凤毛麟角，至于白骨精嫁唐僧的好像也不多见(唐僧这种男人生活中好像更容易被狐狸精给收服了)，而且我发现越是成功男士越对同样事业有成的“三高女性”保持三丈距离。

这是为什么?

男人表面上很强大，都是角斗士，都有英雄情结，实际上却是一种表面上自大骨子里却很自卑的野生动物，他最怕身边的女人胜己一筹，女人越本事，条件越上乘，男人就越恐慌，越手足无措，他的成就感和满足感就会变成无本之木，无水之源，他的英雄情结也就无处释放了。因为男人最爱面子，最怕在能干的女人面前显出自己的无能。

而一个女强人，从一个男性的眼中看过去，堪比珠穆朗玛峰，高大神秘。虽然男人都想当角斗士，都有征服欲，都有征服名山大川的欲望，但珠穆朗玛峰海拔太高、气候严寒，很难攀登上去，除非是珠峰队员。可如今中国男人个个惜命如金，目光短浅，登个黄山泰山还嫌累，谁还愿意把大量精力花在一座难以企及的巨峰上，这大概也是这大概也是中国式的女强人大都让身边的男人闻风丧胆，只能陷入孤芳自赏的尴尬境地的原因吧?

男人嘛，就那点出息，请记住一句话，一切大男人其实都是“纸老虎”!

I know a private business owner who has a rich family background. He is also handsome and knowledgeable. There are no girls with masters, female managers, and female bosses (known as “three high women”, that is, high education, high level, high income). Playing his idea secretly, he just married a small financial clerk with only a technical secondary school degree, and was dubbed the “three low wives” (low education, low education, and low income). Once I had dinner with him, I asked him why he wanted to be low, he laughed, and calmly summed up the three advantages of marrying a “three low wives”:

One. The “three low wives” worship and admire their husbands spiritually, and men can be the pillars of the family at home without being frustrated. And marrying a strong woman would be unlucky. People give orders in the unit every day, and they must be arrogant when they come home, and that man will never have a bright future.

2. The “three low wives” have no desires or desires in their careers, and go home after work. They are the material of a good wife and a good mother, but strong women are different. They often socialize outside. Who cares about the family, men have to do it again Dad is a mother again, and he has become a “model husband” at home. When that happens, friends around him can’t help but sneer. Look, the bastard is not as good as his wife.

3. The “three low wives” have a sense of dependence on their husbands financially, which contributes to the harmony and stability of the family; strong women earn more than their husbands, and their independence and autonomy are too strong, so naturally their hearts will be higher than the sky. Whenever the mountains and rivers change color, the husband will be swept out!

Men’s preference for “three low wives”, in the eyes of self-respecting and self-improving women, is tantamount to an out-and-out machismo. However, judging from the pattern of marriage between strong men and weak women since ancient times, it seems to be commonplace. A man’s love for a woman must be established on the basis that the former is strong enough and sufficient advantage in front of the latter. This strength and advantage is not only reflected in age, height, physical ability, but also in power, money and psychology. If a man feels low self-esteem in front of his beloved woman, he is always embarrassed, his male desire to conquer will not be released, he will have a serious sense of insecurity, even physical and psychological double “impotence”, and never recover. Therefore, male spouse selection has always been a kind of “overlooking psychology” since ancient times: he is younger than me, shorter than me, education is lower than me, and income is lower than me…

Two professors from the University of Michigan and the University of California at Los Angeles have conducted research on more than 300 college students in choosing a spouse, 120 of whom are men. Researchers observe whether superiority will affect their willingness to choose a spouse. The sense of superiority here has nothing to do with personality, but mainly refers to status and power income. It turns out that most men tend to be assistants at work when choosing a spouse, but are less interested in their colleagues and superiors. Women do not particularly consider superiority. Therefore, in many foreign companies, it is common for male bosses to marry female subordinates, or for a young and beautiful female secretary to marry a successful male boss. On the contrary, it is rare for male subordinates to marry female bosses. As for those who marry Tang monks with bones and spirits, it seems that it is rare for men like Tang monks to be subdued by foxes in their lives. And I found that the more successful men are, the more likely they are for the same career. The adult “three-high women” keep a distance of three feet.

Why is that?

On the surface, men are very powerful, they are all gladiators, and they have a heroic complex. In fact, they are a wild animal with a superficial arrogance but inferiority. He is most afraid that the woman around him will be better than himself. The more capable a woman is, the better the conditions will be. The better, the more a man panics and the more at a loss, his sense of accomplishment and satisfaction will become a tree without roots, a source of water, and his hero complex will no longer be released. Because men love face the most and are most afraid of showing their incompetence in front of capable women.

And a strong woman, seen from the eyes of a man, is comparable to Mount Everest, tall and mysterious. Although men want to be gladiators, they have a desire to conquer, and they all have the desire to conquer famous mountains and rivers, but the high altitude and severe cold weather of Mount Everest make it difficult to climb, unless they are members of Mount Everest. But nowadays, all Chinese men cherish their lives like gold, their eyesight is short-sighted, and it is tiring to climb Mount Huangshan and Mount Tai. Who is willing to spend a lot of energy on a giant mountain that is hard to reach? This is probably also a Chinese-style strong woman. The reason why this man is frightened and can only fall into the embarrassing situation of lonely self-admiration, right?

Men, that’s a good thing, please remember that all big men are actually “paper tigers”!

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