某女，出身平民，年少时体校运动员，身高七尺，怀青云之志。曾为着名城市电视台节目主持人。但嫁了江南家乡小镇上唯一一自费大学生，又帅又唱歌好听的人，知足踏实从事自给自足行的作坊业。年轻时候的吸引换来的自然是二十年的背离和冲突。

女曾和一儒雅的男士，身为重要厅里第一副厅长兼作家成为痴缠情人。始乱终弃后沉寂十年开始从事有审美品位的服装行业，欲将自己的审美品味通过服装如数传达给消费者。

艰苦卓绝两年，日夜不寐，餐风露宿，千里奔波。亏损了所有的房子和家产。

再次进入万劫不复的心境。“只想着自杀，和杀人”。动辄三字经，如江水滔滔不绝。最后把自己折磨得光彩尽失。想找心理医生咨询，并欲借药物让自己平静情绪。

一男人开始劝说。

曰： 所有的情绪，皆源于内心冲突造成的情绪失衡。

内心冲突和需求直接相关。在你主要有三方面：爱情、事业、亲情朋友。

1、爱情是和老公之间的事。

无论在对未来的成就欲望、自身定位、价值观、审美层次、思维方式、修养以及表现在外的语言方式，你们都存在着巨大的差异。不是他不好，是你们不是同一类人。如此，要不他改变适应你，但改变不了;要不你改变自己放弃自己适应他，但这比杀了你还难受。还有就是找到彼此的平衡点，但近二十年都找不到这平衡点，估计要找到太难了。所以最后一条路是放弃。其实你心里早有结论和答案，不过是没有决定。放弃自己适应别人很难;让对方放弃自己适应自己很累，找到平衡点又耗费太多光阴，所以决定未尝不是一种好方式，只是需要勇气。放弃，有时候更是智慧。

2、事业，是你所有的高傲和自信的支撑，也是你对未来憧憬能实现的途径。 前段时间曾经聊及，你要做好事太难。找个合作者，处理扔进资金外，别的什么都不做，任何事都需要你思考你决定。而你老公是给你最忠实的助手，可惜一样什么都不能决定和分担，甚至你吩咐的事都不能自己去独立完成。这不能怪他，他是在作坊里工作习惯了的人，不知道协作和配合的方法。

于是你不断提醒，不断教同时不断责怪他，结果是，他依然故我。你不是在做事业，是在教育别人。当一半精力是用来教育别人，另三分之一精力是因教育无结果而生气时，要把事业做好太难。相信任何人都做不好。而目前遇此困境，如能暂时放下，先整顿好自己的心情和身体，是勇气和智慧，值得我尊敬;如能再坚持，会让我敬畏。故简单的就两个字放下，艰难的是两个字坚持。无论坚持和放下，并不影响你的光芒四射。 3、亲情朋友，要避免伤害你的朋友，唯一的方式就是换圈子。

去选择能尊重别人和尊重自己的朋友，就可以消除所有的不愉快。要不，宁肯自己忍受享受寂寞。选择朋友不能鸡不择食–不要因为自己寂寞和缺乏朋友，而过分热心的对待朋友，以希望获得和谐和永久的友谊。因这世界上能真正知恩图报者少，能承认自己不如你欣赏你的人，更少。很多欣赏都是带着私利的，倘若除去私利的欣赏，到纯审美境界，只怕也是君子之交淡如水。

4、完毕，祝福你早日从困境中解脱出来，获得真正的开心。

女人说：你说的太完美到位了。不管我进还是退，都是对的。但我还是想自杀!

男人回答：好啊。等你真要自杀的时候，千万要通知我一声，我去听你的临终遗言。但你自杀了我一定会伤感的，毕竟你是这800万人口城市里我唯一认识的女性朋友。

A certain female, born a commoner, was a sports school athlete when she was young. She is seven feet tall and has ambitions. He was the host of a famous city TV station. But married to the only self-financed college student in the small town of Jiangnan, who is handsome and sings well, is contented and practical to work in a self-sufficient workshop. The attraction in my youth is naturally the 20 years of departure and conflict.

The girl once worked with an elegant man, and became the first deputy director and writer of the important hall to become a lover. After the beginning of chaos and the end of abandonment, he began to engage in the clothing industry with aesthetic taste for ten years, and wanted to convey his aesthetic taste to consumers through clothing.

Two years of hard work, sleepless day and night, sleepless meals, traveling all the way. Lost all the houses and property.

once again enter the state of mind that is beyond resuscitation. “Just thinking about suicide, and killing.” The three-character classics at every turn, like a river surging endlessly. Finally, I tortured myself to a loss of brilliance. I want to consult a psychiatrist, and I want to take medication to calm myself down.

A man began to persuade.

said: All emotions stem from emotional imbalance caused by inner conflict.

Inner conflict and demand are directly related. There are three main aspects to you: love, career, family and friends.

1. Love is a matter between and her husband.

Regardless of the desire for future achievement, self-positioning, values, aesthetic level, way of thinking, self-cultivation, and the way of external language, there are huge differences between you. It’s not that he is bad, but that you are not the same kind of people. In this way, if he changes and adapts to you, but can’t change; or if you change yourself and give up and adapt to him, it is more uncomfortable than killing you. Another thing is to find a balance point for each other, but it has not been found in the past two decades, and it is estimated that it is too difficult to find. So the last way is to give up. In fact, you already have conclusions and answers in your mind, but you haven’t decided. It is difficult to give up on yourself to adapt to others; it is tiring to let the other party give up on yourself to adapt to yourself, and it takes too much time to find a balance point, so it may not be a good way to decide, but it just requires courage. To give up is sometimes more wise.

2. Career is the support of all your arrogance and self-confidence, and it is also a way to realize your vision for the future. I talked about it some time ago that it is too difficult for you to do good. Find a collaborator, deal with the money thrown away, do nothing else, you need to think about and decide everything. And your husband is the most loyal assistant to you, but unfortunately, nothing can be decided and shared, and even the things you ordered cannot be done by yourself. This cannot be blamed on him. He is a person who is used to working in the workshop and does not know how to collaborate and cooperate.

So you keep reminding, keep teaching and keep blaming him, the result is that he is still who I am. You are not doing a career, you are educating others. When half of the energy is used to educate others and the other third is angry because of the fruitless education, it is too difficult to do a good job. I believe no one can do it well. In the current dilemma, if I can let go of it for a while, I will first rectify my mood and body. It is courage and wisdom, which is worthy of my respect; if I can persist, I will be in awe. Therefore, it is simple to let go of two words, and the difficult is to persist in two words. No matter persisting or letting go, it will not affect your radiance. 3. Family friends, the only way to avoid hurting your friends is to change circles.

Choose friends who can respect others and respect yourself, and you can eliminate all unpleasantness. Otherwise, I would rather endure and enjoy loneliness. Choosing friends can’t choose food–don’t treat friends too enthusiastically because of your loneliness and lack of friends, in the hope of achieving harmony and permanent friendship. Because there are few people in this world who can truly know the gratitude, and there are fewer people who can admit that they are not as good as you appreciate you. A lot of appreciation comes with self-interest. If the self-interest appreciation is removed, to the pure aesthetic state, I am afraid that it is also a gentle friendship.

4. Over, I wish you an early release from the predicament and get real happiness.

The woman said: What you said is too perfect. Whether I advance or retreat, it’s all right. But I still want to commit suicide!

The man replied: Okay. When you really want to commit suicide, be sure to notify me, and I will listen to your last words. But I will be sad if you commit suicide. After all, you are the only female friend I know in this city of 8 million people.

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