男人心中渴望的红颜知己

“什么是妻子？就是你愿意把积蓄交给她保管的女人。什么是红颜知己？就是你能把有些秘密说给她听却不能说给妻子听的女人。”安妮宝贝如是说…

因此，很多男人都想拥有一个红颜知己。遗憾的是，红颜知己原本难觅；即便有幸觅到了，也可能因为把握不好“度”，而把“红颜知己”变成了“红颜祸水”，闹得妻离子散、鸡犬不宁。

红颜知己注重精神交流

“比朋友多一点，比爱人少一点”这是人们对红颜知己的定义。正常的红颜知己还是偏朋友多一点，是一种纯洁的异性情感。对年龄相仿的异性来说，可称红颜知己；而年龄差距大的一般都称之为“忘年交”。红颜知己可以是内心彷徨的倾听者，也是心灵的阅读者。但完全是精神层面的交流，一旦发生爱情或性行为，这种关系也就随之瓦解了。

红颜知己由来已久，俄罗斯音乐家柴可夫斯基和梅克夫人就是很好的例子。他们两人通信13年，却从没见过面。梅克夫人在信中说：“我们的灵魂在互相触摸、对视、交谈，您和您的音乐，每时每刻都在轻叩我的灵魂。”柴可夫斯基也把梅克夫人视为唯一的红颜知己；并专门为她写了传世名作《第四交响曲》和《悲怆交响曲》。

男人需要红颜知己

在女人看来，男人找红颜知己逃不脱花心的嫌疑。实际上，不少男人只不过是想拥有一个可以倾诉的对象，男人也会脆弱，也需要关怀。但在家庭中，男人就是一把遮风挡雨的伞，他必须用强大的外表掩饰自己的疲惫与软弱，而红颜知己则可以让男人的负面情绪得以释放。在男人看来，女性心思更细腻，更愿意倾听。她们的胸怀就像妈妈一样，能给男人带来安全感。

夫妻间不仅只是婚姻关系，还应具备朋友、亲情关系。可大多数人都没有意识到这点，而当妻子没有和丈夫进行朋友般的交流时，就会让男人感到一种心理缺憾。此时，红颜知己就成为了“必需品”。

另外，虚荣心使得大部分男人都渴望享受妻子之外女人的关心和亲近。情人和红颜知己最大的不同就是后者不涉及性、情爱和金钱，所以它更容易维系一生。想想在一生中，能够有一个人听你倾诉，默默守候着你，本身就是一种幸运。因此，有人说过，能当红颜知己的女人懂得爱和聆听，却不会苛求和独占。正是因为这种距离感，才让男人可以更轻松地与之交流，甚至把最隐私的秘密与其分享。

有红颜知己，别瞒妻子

对男人来说，如果有幸得到一位红颜知己，多半会将她作为心灵深处最温柔的秘密。男人有红颜知己的话，最好向妻子坦白。如果你只是把红颜知己当成精神层面的朋友，没有心怀鬼胎；而你的妻子又是一个宽容的人，那完全可以坦白。而作为妻子，当得知丈夫有一位红颜知己时，则要给予理解和信任。既然你的丈夫肯把这件事告诉你了，那就意味着他不大可能精神背叛和身体出轨。

为避免红颜知己成为红颜“祸水”，男人们还要谨记“君子之交淡如水”，如，不要和红颜知己联系太频繁，谈论的话题不要太深入；见面时间不能太晚、地点不能太隐蔽等；不要什么事都找红颜知己，要知道她只是你众多朋友中的一个。

“What is a wife? A woman who is willing to give her savings to her custody. What is a confidante? It is a woman who can tell some secrets to her but not to his wife.” Baby Annie said…

Therefore, many men want to have a confidante. Unfortunately, confidantes were originally difficult to find; even if they were fortunate enough to find them, they might have turned “confessions to confidantes” into “distresses of confidantes” because they could not grasp the degree well.

Confidante pays attention to spiritual communication

“A little more than a friend, a little less than a lover” This is the definition of confidantes. The normal confidante is still a little more than a friend, which is a pure heterosexual emotion. For the opposite sex of the same age, it can be called a confidante; and those with a large age gap are generally called “forgotten friends”. A confidante can be a listener of inner hesitation and a reader of the soul. But it is completely spiritual communication. Once love or sex occurs, this relationship will collapse.

has long been a confidante, and Russian musicians Tchaikovsky and Mrs. Mek are good examples. The two of them have been communicating for 13 years, but they have never met. Mrs. Mek said in the letter: “Our souls touch each other, look at each other, talk, and you and your music are tapping my soul every moment.” Tchaikovsky also put Mrs. Mek Seen as the only confidante of the red face; and specially wrote her masterpieces “Fourth Symphony” and “Sorrow Symphony” for her.

Men need confidantes

In the eyes of women, men are suspicious of finding confidantes. In fact, many men just want to have an object to talk to. Men are also vulnerable and need care. But in the family, a man is an umbrella that shelters from the wind and rain. He must cover his exhaustion and weakness with a strong appearance, and a confidante can let men’s negative emotions be released. From the perspective of men, women’s minds are more delicate and more willing to listen. Their minds are like mothers, and they can bring security to men.

The couple is not only a marriage relationship, but also a friend and family relationship. But most people are not aware of this, and when the wife does not have a friend-like communication with her husband, it will make men feel a psychological deficiency. At this time, the confidante became a “necessary.”

In addition, vanity makes most men long to enjoy the care and closeness of women other than their wives. The biggest difference between a lover and a confidante is that the latter does not involve sex, love and money, so it is easier to maintain a lifetime. It is a kind of luck to think of someone in your life who can listen to you and wait for you silently. Therefore, it has been said that a woman who can be a confidante knows how to love and listen, but she does not demand and monopolize. It is precisely because of this sense of distance that men can communicate with them more easily and even share the most private secrets with them.

Have a confidante, don’t hide your wife

For men, if they are fortunate enough to get a confidante, most of them will regard her as the most gentle secret in the heart. If a man has a confidante, it is best to confess to his wife. If you just treat the confidante as a spiritual friend and don’t have a ghost, and your wife is a tolerant person, you can be honest. As a wife, when she learns that her husband has a confidante, she must give her understanding and trust. Now that your husband is willing to tell you about it, it means that he is unlikely to be betrayed and derailed.

In order to prevent the confidante from becoming a “face of trouble”, men should also remember that “the friendship between gentlemen is as light as water.” For example, don’t contact the confidante of the face too often, and don’t talk too deeply about the topic; the meeting time should not be too late, the place should not be too Concealment, etc.; don’t look for confidantes for everything, know that she is just one of your many friends.

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