让男人越来越烦你的六个举动

女人要倒追是要耍点小聪明用点小手段,要学会用智慧去套牢这个男人,以自己的才华去撩拨男人于股掌间,他才会甘心情愿拜倒在你的裙下。

有时你对男人的爱恋表示，可能会令毫无准备的他手足无措。如果交流方式不当，你越想努力与他接近，反而会让他离你越远。我们知道女人在与别人交谈时，总认为通过兴致勃勃的谈话，能与男人保持密切的关系，殊不知喋喋不休的女人，不但难令男人谈兴大发，反而易使他们缄口不语，兴味索然。但是，为了尽力让男人开口，我们却一而再，再而三地犯同样的错误。

但是，不要放弃对和谐交流的追求，了解他谈话的思路，把握他的谈话技巧和风格，就会令你俩的谈话顺畅自然。如果你无意中破坏了谈话氛围，该怎么办呢?不要紧，这儿正有一些小技巧供你参考，或许它能帮助你，使你俩的谈话峰回路转，柳暗花明。

一：你说话时，死盯着他的眼睛

不知你有没有注意到这样一个现象：如果你直直地盯着一条狗的眼睛，它可能会以为你有敌意而避开你，甚至会扑上来咬你。男人的反应也大致如此。

男人和女人在跟同性谈话时，坐的位置和目光交流的方式有所不同。女人面对面坐着，倚靠在沙发上，眼睛直视对方;男人则肩并肩坐或对角坐，眼睛环视周围。对于女人来说，面对一个老是注视着天花板上剥落的油漆的男人，她是很难敞开心扉的;而对于男人而言，谈话时有人盯着他，会让他们局促不安，难以放松。

为了避开男性这个特殊的习惯，你可以利用你在他身旁的机会同他交谈，如在车内、在电影院等等，只要你不死盯着他的眼睛，他就会很舒适放松地与你进行交谈。26岁的叶晓说：“男友和我最愉快的谈话是在我们的一次旅途中，他谈及他的童年趣事及我们美好的未来，这是他不常谈论的话题。我们谈得很热烈，直到到了目的地还不想停下来。”

二：下班后，你仍然追问他的工作情况

你跟男人正在一起愉快地交流，你却突然冒出一句“今天工作如何?”他只是咕噜了一句“凑和吧”，就盯着体育节目不理你了。 在你发现你为什么被冷落之前，你应该清醒地意识到他不愿跟你说话是暂时的，也是情有可原的。

因为刚下班后不是跟男人谈正事的好时机。女人以为下班后聊天是与男人增进感情的一个好方式，但男人却愿意只是与你在一起享受无言的宁静与温馨。这种沉默行为也有他生理上的原因：男人的大脑在处理某件事时是相对专注的。当男人沉思于工作或专注于球赛时，他的大脑正忙于逻辑思维，而此时他的语言功能正处于休眠状态。

给他时间让他平静下来，可以使他恢复谈话状态。28岁的洪英发现：“男友回到家，打开电视，就处于半休眠状态。我还记得我们第一次住在一起时，我竭力想跟他说话，他却似乎不认识我，我简直惊呆了。但后来我发现，只要我让他安静地呆上一个小时左右，他就会主动给我讲他工作中发生的事情，这样我们就有话可谈了。”

三：你用沉默来惩罚他

男友的行为惹恼了你，但是你没有警告他下不为例，而是装作冷若冰霜，沉默不语，为什么呢?你只是想让他主动检讨一下发生问题的原因。“女人利用沉默战术是因为她们认为在两人关系中男人多数处于主动地位，让他向你主动认错会使你感觉被重视。”

但是，你的报复心理是白费心机：男人特别不擅长解读这些微妙的体态语言。这样做简直是对牛弹琴。而且即使你的行为非常明显，最木讷的男人都能看出你的意图时，他可能仍然一声不吭。“男人认为沉默战术是一种无声的控制行为，男人的对策是如果她想要我干什么，她直截了当地说好了，摆什么谱?”

26岁的马辉很赞同上述观点。他说： “她不告诉我问题所在时，我感到恼火，我也拒绝去揣摩她的内心小把戏。所以，我就不理她。”沉默战术事实上的结果是，男友的反应只会使你更加气愤。

遇到这种情况，你千万不要控制不住你的情绪把他大骂一顿，最好的方法是过一段时间，你冷静下来之后告诉他，你对他哪儿不满，此时他会愉快地接受你的批评。

Tips：他想与你交谈的一些暗示

四：你企图通过不断提及你俩的关系来保持两人关系的热度

世上所有的女人都会在不同场合问身边的男友“我们的关系好吗?你爱我吗?”但是，不断逼问男友类似的问题，会令他离你远去，女人总是在不断提到她与男友的关系时，才感到两人的关系正常与和谐，而男人则恰恰相反，如果他认为两人关系正常，就不会提及它。

男人知道你在寻求一种口头的承诺，但是利用提问这种间接的方式，可能会导致问题的发生。 正如29岁的吴辉 所说的：“我和女友的关系开始进行得很顺利，后来她开始不断地问我：‘你幸福吗?’其实，以前我一直很幸福，而她一直反复地问我同一个问题，反而令我厌烦，不再感到幸福。”

你需要细心冷静地检查男人的行为，而不用逼迫他说出心中的不满。因为他可能不会直接告诉你你们之间出现了问题，但是你可以通过他的一些无声的行为来判断他是否幸福。握着他的手，亲吻他，抚摸他，看他是否回应你的温情。男人更愿意通过行动而不是言语来表达感情。

五：你期望进行长时间的交谈

男人的谈话既实际又有目的，所以当你进入闲聊状态时，他就会尽力找借口中止你们的谈话。男人是以音节为单位来思考和谈话的。这就是男女两性的基本差别之一。女人用谈话作为两人关系的柔和剂，她们对男人无所不谈以求密切关系。而男人则喜欢有既定目的的谈话。当你只是陶醉于有话可说的闲聊状态时，他却可能因为抓不住你的谈话要点而一头雾水，兴趣全无。

你和爱人一起做事情时，是你俩谈话的有利时机，男人在没有压力以及积极性高的状态下，通常比较善谈，而且也愿意敞开心扉。

29岁的安瑞就总是利用这个机会使自己与爱人的谈话既温馨又和谐。她说：“我和男友总是在一起做晚饭时交流想法、商议周末计划的。因为我们已经习惯在这个狭小的空间里，边聊天边干活，此时我俩心情舒畅，谈话也很自然和谐。”

让男人开口讲话的另一个小“伎俩”就是不要塞满每一个沉默的时刻。谈话时间太长，会令男人厌烦。女人在沉默时感到不安，男人则不然。所以，如果你想打破沉默，也不要老是喋喋不休，这样反而会令男人有意避开你缄口不言，结果适得其反。

六：你太诚实了

你意外地收到前任男友的E-mail表达了失去你的后悔之情，并希望能够重新和好，等你略带调情却又坚决回绝了他的要求之后，考虑再三，你仍然认为作为一个诚实的伴侣，你有责任把这一切告诉现在的男友。如果你这样做的话，那就大错特错了。

虽然说诚实和信任是维护两人关系的基础，但有时你最好放弃“不告诉他会伤害他”这个观念。“女人容易以为如果不告诉对方，就会或多或少地破坏两人的关系”，但是男人却只在有确定必要的理由时，才会告诉你一些事实的真相。

所以你提到前男友，他可能会推测你们之间关系仍非同一般。虽然你确信你们的关系仅仅是一封电子邮件，你的男友却可能在想，他们之间还有没有其它事情发生?

提倡自我批评而不是全部告诉对方的另一个原因是：诚实的全盘托出比保留一点无伤大雅的秘密，对男友的伤害反而大得多。所以说：“绝对的诚实也可能是很残忍的。”对于这点，31岁的晓静深有感触。她说：“我是在还与前男友约会时认识我现在的男友的，他也曾听说我和前男友在一起是如何的销魂。所以，当我与他开始交往时，他问我他是否与前男友一样棒，当时我想为了避免将来出现问题，我还是应该诚实为好。所以，我告诉他他虽然不比以前男友好，但随着我俩的进一步交往与了解，我们的关系会更和谐幸福的。当然结果是他的自尊心受到很大的伤害，内心非常不安。现在我才明白，有些秘密是不可以告诉他人的。”

1、他询问有关你的事情

不断地盘问你一些问题，是他想把对话进行下去的标志。另外，谈论你也是他暗中在为谈论自己做准备。

2、他说话用长而完整的句子

一个男人平时回答你的问话总是短而简洁，而这次却突然出现长篇大论，那么请注意，这说明他有话要对你说。

如果我们早读过《说你想说，有话直说》一书的作者齐瑞尔·克朗所说的这番话，可能会让你做得更好。她说：“男人和女人的交流方式有所不同，女人的谈话比较感性，是真实情感的流露，而男人的谈话却趋向于实际。所以，女人不要勉强男人跟你的想法一致。”

3、他显得老成持重

如果你的伴侣平时说话时总爱晃着二郎腿，打着响指，极其随便，而突然极其安静，这说明他感到有点紧张，头脑正盘算着跟你说什么重要的事情，却又很害怕触及它。

If a woman wants to chase down, she has to be clever and use a little trick, she must learn to use wisdom to hold the man, and use his talents to trick the man in the palm of his hand, and he will be willing to bow down under your skirt.

Sometimes you express your love for a man, which may make him feel unprepared. If the communication method is improper, the more you try to get closer to him, the farther away you will be. We know that when women talk to others, they always think that they can maintain a close relationship with men through enthusiastic conversations. We don’t know that chattering women not only make it difficult for men to talk, but they tend to be silent and uninterested. However, in order to try our best to get men to speak, we made the same mistakes over and over again.

But, don’t give up the pursuit of harmonious communication, understand his conversation ideas, grasp his conversation skills and style, it will make your conversation smooth and natural. What should you do if you inadvertently disrupt the conversation atmosphere? It doesn’t matter, here are some tips for your reference, maybe it can help you to make your conversation turn around.

一: When you talk, you stare into his eyes

I wonder if you have noticed such a phenomenon: if you stare straight into the eyes of a dog, it may think you are hostile and avoid you, or even rush to bite you. The men’s reaction is roughly the same.

When men and women talk to the same sex, the sitting position and the way of eye contact are different. Women sit face to face, leaning on the sofa, looking straight at each other; men sit side by side or diagonally, eyes looking around. For women, it is difficult for a woman to open her heart when facing a man who always looks at the peeling paint on the ceiling; for men, someone staring at him during a conversation can make them uneasy and difficult to relax.

In order to avoid the special habit of a man, you can use the opportunity you have by his side to talk with him, such as in the car, in the movie theater, etc. As long as you don’t stare at his eyes, he will be comfortable and relaxed with him. You have a conversation. 26-year-old Ye Xiao said: “The most pleasant conversation between my boyfriend and me was during one of our trips. He talked about his childhood fun and our beautiful future. This is a topic he doesn’t often talk about. We talked very enthusiastically. I don’t want to stop until I reach my destination.”

二: After get off work, you still ask about his work

You and the man are happily communicating together, but you suddenly said “How is your work today?” He just murmured “Make peace” and stared at the sports program and ignored you. Before you discover why you are left out, you should be soberly aware that his reluctance to talk to you is temporary and excusable.

Because just after get off work is not a good time to talk to men about business. Women think that chatting after get off work is a good way to strengthen relationships with men, but men are willing to just be with you and enjoy the silent peace and warmth. This silent behavior also has his biological reasons: a man’s brain is relatively focused when dealing with something. When a man is contemplating work or focusing on a ball game, his brain is busy with logical thinking, while his language function is in a dormant state.

Give him time to calm him down so that he can resume talking. 28-year-old Hong Ying found out: “My boyfriend came home and turned on the TV, and he was in a semi-dormant state. I still remember the first time we lived together, I tried my best to talk to him, but he didn’t seem to know me. I was shocked. I stayed. But then I found out that as long as I let him stay quiet for an hour or so, he would take the initiative to tell me what happened in his work so that we could talk.”

三: You used silence to punish him

Your boyfriend’s behavior annoyed you, but you did not warn him not to take an example, but pretended to be cold and silent, why? You just want him to actively review the cause of the problem. “Women use silent tactics because they believe that in their relationship, most men are in an active position. Asking him to confess his mistakes to you will make you feel valued.”

But your revenge is in vain: men are particularly bad at deciphering these subtle body language. This is simply playing the piano against the cows. And even if your behavior is very obvious, when the most dull man can see your intentions, he may still be silent. “The man thinks that the silent tactic is a kind of silent control behavior. The man’s countermeasure is if she wants me to do something, she can say it straightforwardly. What kind of spectrum?”

Ma Hui, 26, agrees with the above view. He said: “I feel annoyed when she doesn’t tell me what the problem is, and I refuse to try to figure out her inner tricks. So, I ignore her.” The actual result of the silent tactic is that your boyfriend’s reaction will only make you. More angry.

In such a situation, you must not yell at him if you can’t control your emotions. The best way is to let him calm down and tell him if you are dissatisfied with him. He will be happy at this time. Accept your criticisms.

Tips: Some hints that he wants to talk to you

4: You are trying to keep the relationship hot by constantly mentioning your relationship

All women in the world will ask her boyfriend next to her on different occasions “How is our relationship? Do you love me?” However, constantly forcing her boyfriend to ask similar questions will drive him away from you. Women are always mentioning her The relationship between the two is normal and harmonious when he has a relationship with her boyfriend, while a man is just the opposite. If he thinks the relationship between the two is normal, he will not mention it.

The man knows that you are seeking a verbal promise, but the indirect method of asking questions may cause problems. As the 29-year-old Wu Hui said: “My relationship with my girlfriend started going very smoothly, and then she started to keep asking me:’Are you happy?’ In fact, I was always happy before, and she kept asking I have the same problem, but it bores me and no longer feels happy.”

You need to carefully and calmly check the man’s behavior without forcing him to express his dissatisfaction. Because he may not tell you directly that there is a problem between you, but you can judge whether he is happy through some of his silent behavior. Hold his hand, kiss him, touch him, and see if he responds to your warmth. Men are more willing to express their feelings through actions rather than words.

5: You expect a long conversation

A man’s conversation is practical and purposeful, so when you enter a small chat, he will try his best to find an excuse to stop your conversation. Men think and talk in units of syllables. This is one of the basic differences between men and women. Women use conversation as a softening agent for the relationship between two people. They talk about everything to men in order to get close. And men like conversations with a purpose. When you are just intoxicated in the state of small talk where there is something to say, he may be confused and have no interest because he can’t grasp the main points of your conversation.

When you do things with your lover, it is a good time for you to talk. Men are usually more talkative and willing to open up when they are not stressed and motivated.

29-year-old An Rui always uses this opportunity to make her conversation with her lover warm and harmonious. She said: “My boyfriend and I always share ideas and discuss weekend plans when we cook dinner together. Because we are used to working in this small space while chatting, we are in a good mood and talking naturally. harmonious.”

Another little “trick” for men to talk is not to fill every moment of silence. Talking for too long will annoy men. Women feel upset when they are silent, but men do not. So, if you want to break the silence, don’t keep chattering. This will make men deliberately avoid you and keep silent. The result is counterproductive.

Six: You are too honest

You accidentally received an E-mail from your ex-boyfriend expressing your regret for losing you, and hope to reconcile. After you flirt a little but resolutely refuse his request, consider it again and again. You still think that as a Honest partner, you are responsible for telling all this to your current boyfriend. If you do this, you would be wrong.

Although honesty and trust are the basis for maintaining the relationship between two people, sometimes you’d better give up the notion that “not telling him will hurt him”. “Women tend to think that if they don’t tell each other, they will destroy their relationship more or less.” However, men will only tell you the truth if they have certain necessary reasons.

So you mentioned your ex-boyfriend, he might speculate that the relationship between you is still extraordinary. Although you are sure that your relationship is just an email, your boyfriend may be thinking, is there anything else happening between them?

Another reason for advocating self-criticism instead of telling each other is that honestly telling the whole story is more harmful to your boyfriend than keeping a little innocent secret. So I said: “Absolute honesty can be cruel.” For this, 31-year-old Xiaojing is deeply moved. She said: “I met my current boyfriend when I was still dating my ex. He also heard how ecstasy I was with my ex. So when I started dating him, he asked me about him Is he as good as my ex-boyfriend? At that time, I thought that in order to avoid problems in the future, I should be honest. Therefore, I told him that although he is not as friendly as the previous boy, as we further communicate and understand, our relationship will It is more harmonious and happy. Of course, his self-esteem has been greatly hurt and his heart is very disturbed. Now I understand that some secrets cannot be told to others.”

1. He asked about you

Constantly asking you some questions is a sign that he wants to continue the conversation. In addition, talking about you is also secretly preparing him to talk about himself.

2, he speaks in long and complete sentences

A man usually answers your questions short and concisely, but this time there is a long story suddenly, so please pay attention, it means that he has something to say to you.

If we had read the words of the author of “Say You Want to Speak, Speak Upright” earlier, it might make you do better. She said: “Men and women have different ways of communicating. Women’s conversations are more emotional and express real emotions, while men’s conversations tend to be practical. So, women should not force men to agree with you.”

3. He looks mature and prudent

If your partner always swings Erlang’s legs, snaps his fingers, and is extremely casual, but suddenly extremely quiet, it means that he is feeling a little nervous, and his mind is thinking about something important to you, but he is afraid to touch it. .

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